Shhhhhhhh, my experience at a silent retreat

Many people have asked me about my experience during my recent silent retreat. I returned to Lake Shrine-Self Realization Fellowship in Pacific Palisades for my second go at three days of silence, no alcohol, vegetarian food and long bouts of meditation.

I started going to Lake Shrine way back in 1993. It became one of my favorite places to go and spend some quiet time. The gardens are amazing, the lake is beautiful, complete with ducks, turtles and swans and there are many little nooks where you can meditate amongst the flowers.

I started looking at the end of 2015 for a retreat where I could just go and commune with spirit and nature. I stumbled upon the retreat at Lake Shrine and immediately signed up. I don't think I knew it was silent at first and when I realized it a little wave of terror went over me. Could I really not speak for three days?

Windmill meditation space

In reality that was the easy part. No one is speaking so it's not like you're going about your regular day, in your regular life, with your regular friends and your regular job unable to speak. The only people who speak are the monks who are guiding you through prayers and meditations. 

The first awkward moment was mealtime when, normally you would be speaking to the people around you. On my second visit just a few days ago I looked around at the other attendees. I could tell who the first timers were by the look of terror in their eyes at what had they got themselves into. I wondered if I looked that scared my first time. It's interesting how people change their behavior when at a silent retreat. Everybody walks very slowly with their eyes cast downward. The awkward mealtime becomes placing things very gently on the table as if trying not to make any noise at all. It actually struck me as funny how exaggerated people's movement had gotten and I'm sure I looked like that my first time too.

I found on this second visit I was able to sit for longer and longer periods of meditation and got deeper and deeper in my practice. I had some amazing insight and beautiful messages, some to be shared with others and some privately for myself. The strangest thing about the silent meditation is you spend three days with about 10 or 12 other people. And everyone is anonymous. No one has an identity. You don't know who they are, what they do, what they believe and where they work. In a society that is so tied to our identities it struck me so strongly this time that I didn't know who these people were. At the end of the retreat when the monk dismisses us many people gather in the courtyard to introduce themselves where we get to hear them speak for the first time. 

Outdoor temple area with swan

I was surprised at how many foreign accents I heard, learning that a few of the attendees were from the UK and Mexico. It was exciting to get to meet these people and just get a glimpse into their lives. My husband to make this time from ashram to real life world, especially with all that's going on politically and globally. But I'm trying to find ways to carry that piece of peace with me throughout my days to spread to others. Maybe a three-day silent meditation retreat at an ashram isn't for you, but try a silent meal or a few silent moments. You'd be amazed at what you hear. 





Some people find that scary, they don't want to know what's inside. But whether you acknowledge it or not it is there and will bubble to the surface one way or another. Self realization, self exploration and self actualization is what's going to propel us forward as a society. Kindness, love and peace need to permeate what is going on in this world. Now is the time to shine your light outward not to be shy about what you believe. 

Buddha on the hillside

Light your torch and let others see the glow of your spirit. 

Who me meditate?

So...I'm a bit Type A. I'm driven, a Capricorn, competitive, an only child daughter of a dad that wanted a son. Therefore, if you tell me to meditate, it just isn't going to work. I do hip hop and flying trapeze to relax, so to have me sit on a pillow and quiet my mind and still my body, I stilly and quietly lose my mind. I find it stressful. My to do list runs through my head, everything suddenly cramps, my hair tickles my face and there is that itch...that itch that must be addressed. Every sound is magnified and I want to run around the room.

When I found myself studying stress at Harvard at the Benson Henry Institute for Mind/Body Medicine and they said we were going to meditate, I thought, "Oh crap!" We were going to learn the rules of meditation and I got ready. I mean, you have to sit a certain way on a pillow, and stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth, you hold your hands a certain way, breath from your stomach, roll your eyes up into your head and then you float away into a million bubbles, right? I thought so. I was wrong.
Their kind of meditation had just 2 rules.

TWO RULES?! That I might actually be able to do.
1. Concentrate on something repetitive.
2. If thoughts intrude (and they probably will), dismiss them without judgement.

WHAT? Just 2 rules. It can't be that simple. But it was. And it was called a mini meditation. The instructor asked who in the room meditated and me being in the front row (of course I was), I turned to look at the few hundred people behind me and a fair amount of hands were raised. She asked who thought they couldn't meditate and she looked directly at me. Stared actually, it was quite disturbing. It was as if I had a scarlet (type) A embroidered on my proudly worn Harvard t-shirt. I tentatively raised my hand and she nodded as if Buddha himself had told her who I was.

She explained to us those 2 rules I mentioned earlier and had us close our eyes. We concentrated on our breath, the rise and fall of our chest. And on the inhale were to think, "I am." and repeat with every inhale. And on the exhale, "at peace." and repeat that. So, "I am...at peace." And breathe in and out. We did this for about 5 minutes and when she told us to return to the room, I smiled and shook my head no. I finally opened my eyes and she was looking at me, so proud. A meditation convert. I have used the minis ever since.

I've taught them to millions, whether in person, on the radio or in articles I've participated in. (click here for guided instruction) And if I can do it...seriously folks, you can too. Minis stop the stress response that is so detrimental to our health. Bring us back to the present moment, slow our heart and respiratory rate, lower our blood pressure, ready our brains for higher functioning, help digestion and boosts the immune system. I can think of nothing simpler to improve our health.
Give them a shot. I realized though there is certainly a traditional way to meditate, there is no wrong way if it works for you.

And I say good night from my little round pillow. Namaste!